This isn’t one of my favorite topics to write about because it’s very real for me…but I feel like it’s necessary. Alcohol has never brought me anything good, it has always led me to some sort of problem in the past. Well, ever since I met my husband and we started building our little family I definitely slowed down and even cut out liquor altogether just because I noticed that it wasn’t even worth it anymore, I needed to be 100% for my kids. Well ever since I had my second baby, Noah, my alcohol tolerance has shot down to zero basically. I had been sticking to wine only lately because it seemed like that’s all I could handle but recently, that’s been changing. I noticed that if I ever surpassed my two glasses of wine I would get a strong buzz and would wake up with really bad headaches the next day. If I had a headache then I felt like I couldn’t be the best me I could be with the kids and I didn’t like that. Well, this past weekend my husband and I were able to get away with the kids and my mother in law and we took everybody to the beach. We had the best time but I feel like because I had a couple drinks it led up to probably THE dumbest fight of my life. I ended up getting overly upset because my husband gave our dog, Bunny, the last of my two year old’s beef jerky sticks when we got back from dinner. It had definitely been a stressful day with the drive, the kids, & the dog and I think that one little thing made me just blow up. I ended up making a huge deal out of something that honestly should not have been that big of a deal. I made a mountain out of a mole hill as others would say. Well, anyway, thankfully I quickly realized that the reason I felt SO angry and annoyed was mostly because of the alcohol intake. I hated myself for a moment, I felt like I had ruined the night, the weekend! My husband and I sat quietly in the dark and I gathered myself and put my ego aside, I sincerely apologized to him. I thanked him for being so patient and loving with me, he truly has been such a good partner throughout all of this and I refuse to lose him or my family because of my old ways. I had an epiphany that night that showed me that everything bad I ever got into when I was young, was because of the alcohol. I could keep putting the blame on others or I could start taking responsibility for myself. It was time to make a change, a change I could not bring myself to do before. I really disliked myself that night because that is not the type of person I wanted my children to grow up with so I made the decision to just cut it out of my life. Thankfully that night did not turn out as bad as it could have and I was able to salvage the weekend. I know it has only been a week but I am serious about this next step in my journey. I even read that some people are allergic to alcohol and it causes their hair to fall out, so maybe it will even help in my case with alopecia. Every day is a battle but my family is worth the fight. They are my reason. “One is not enough and two is too many.” , is a quote that always stuck with me…& I intend on sticking with this decision. Someone once told me that alcohol is meant to celebrate something, not just drink it simply just because, and that’s the level I aspire to get to. I will only, MAYBE, enjoy a drink when I have something to celebrate such as my birthday or an anniversary; other than that hello sobriety!
Truths from a Mommy 