You’re on my mind more than you should be. I think about you every single hour of every single day, there are no breaks. It can get overwhelming at times, I feel like I can’t breathe. I try to keep myself busy throughout the day so that my brain does not have the time, or luxury to stop and dwell on how badly I miss you. The nights are the worst though, I have no control over my dreams and they feel so real. It’s almost as if it’s an alternate life and you’re right there , so close but so far at the same time. We are happy and together. I always complain about how busy and loud my days turn out to be, but honestly, I love it because they keep me distracted from the pain of you not being here.
It’s only when the late night hours come around and everyone’s asleep that the thoughts creep in and start to slowly take over every cell in my body. It’s so quiet but my thoughts are so loud, it’s like they’re screaming. What I would do to be able to feel you close to me, cuddled close, skin to skin the way we used to be before the world got real and decided to tear us apart. Nothing could bother us, even when both of our worlds seemed to be falling apart it was ok because we had each other and just the scent of your skin could keep me calm. I can not wait for our worlds to collapse into each other again and we can find the peace that only we could bring to one another once again. I love you and everything that I do to better myself is for you, and because of you.
Truths from a Mommy 