I started laser hair therapy!

Momma Bear

As you all may know, or not know, I have been dealing with alopecia areota since I was about to turn 21 years old; it has been a really crazy ride! I have tried millions of things to keep my hair from falling out and to regrow my hair, but nothing ever seems to stick…super frustrating. I’ve tried coconut oil, rosemary oil, I’ve rubbed egg on my head, I’ve even been getting cortesoid steroid injections to my scalp for a few years now and NOTHING WORKS. No one can tell me WHY this is happening or how to stop it and it has been just such an irritating problem. Having to deal with this situation has definitely changed me entirely, I feel like I have gone into hiding and my depression got really bad at one point honestly. My husband and kids are really the only things motivating me every day to keep going and not worry about my hair. They have saved me from myself and motivate me to just keep living my life and breaking glass ceilings! Well, about a year ago my husband and I were driving around town and we saw a clinic that said “Hair Loss Control Clinic” and it caught my eye but I never even dared to think about it because I had a feeling it would cost us a pretty penny. Recently however, I decided to just give them a call and see what they had to offer and when the receptionist told me the consultation was free and they offered payment plans, I thought “Why the hell not?” I set it up and my mom was nice enough to tag along with me because I needed her to stay in the car and watch my two kids since they were not allowed in the clinic, due to COVID safety precautions of course.

I walked in the clinic and everything just felt right, I felt like this might be the place that changes my life; but I was still very skeptical because I did not know anything about the treatments they would recommend or their prices. After my consultation, which was really quick thank goodness, the doctor recommended their hair treatments, along with a shampoo, and vitamins and laser hair therapy. The doctor raves about the products, showed me pictures of before and after the six month treatment, and guaranteed me a 93% success rate among the patients. I was sold. I ended up agreeing to the six month treatment, along with the hair treatments, and it came out to $1500. I was so surprised because I honestly thought I was going to walk out with a $5,000 quote, but no!! I ran outside to tell my mom and she were bursting with joy and gratitude because it finally felt as if this horrible problem will soon go away! This has been something that has been affecting my life and the lives of my loved ones for a long time now and I am so ready to kick it in the ass! I just completed my first week of laser hair therapy, it’s two sessions a week for the first couple of months and then it’s once a week. I know, how tedious, but if it works it’ll all be worth it to me! I am so grateful to my mother for helping me with this journey , and I will be keeping you guys updated with pictures as well!

Second sesh of laser hair therapy!

The laser hair therapy itself is so cool! It takes 30 minutes and they just sit you down in a private room with a TV and you literally just hang out while this machine is over your head, kind of like the ones at the salon but these use a red laser light that is supposed to stimulate your hair follicles to grow! It irradiates photons into scalp tissue and they are supposed to be absorbed by the weaker scalp skin cells and stimulates the growth, super sciencey and cool! I am just so excited to try something new and being very optimistic about it.

Six months sober; still going!

Momma Bear

Waking up this morning to my two toddlers sleeping next to me, cuddling me, I took the time to just close my eyes and take a deep breath. I slowly exhaled as I took it all in, everything from the sunlight beginning to peep through the blinds to my children’s slow, relaxed breathing. This is how life was supposed to feel, clear and bright. I remembered how a few years ago I was in such a different place, a dark place. I was so far lost and I did not even know it at that time, drinking away the days for some reason was the way I dealt with myself. I never really liked the light back then, I remember even taping some black gift wrapping paper to my windows because I could not stand to even look at the sun without having the worst migraines. I was fading away.

Now everything is so much brighter. My little family has brought so much happiness and bright colors back to my life. I used to always pray that I would one day feel love, even if it was for a day, and God gave me an amazing husband that loves me for me, and two amazingly beautiful children that love me infinitely. I could not be more grateful. It has not been an easy road however. Even with such amazing people at my side, I still have my own demons to battle with. I decided to stop drinking back in October because I came to a realization that if I cherished what I now had, and wanted to keep it, then I was going to have to stop my wretched habit. For as long as I can remember, I always had to have a drink with me. I do not know why but I felt that if I was going to be anywhere then I wanted to have a good time, and for some reason a good time to me meant alcohol. Well, there was never anything positive that came out of those times. Every single time, it never ended well and yet I was always ready for the next round, the next day. Its as if I was drinking, desperately trying to fill a void inside of me…but it was just too big. I lost so much because of the alcohol, I even almost lost my life. One night I crashed 85mph into the underpass, miraculously I lived. I think I lived because I was meant to be a mother to these two babies.

Fast forward to that night in October, as I was arguing with my husband about the last piece of beef jerky. I was so upset that he had given it to our dog that I was willing to ruin the entire beach getaway because of it. Ridiculous. Pathetic. I never want to feel that way again. I never again want to know the feeling of losing everything because of alcohol. I made the choice to break the chain. I refuse to continue drinking and allowing my children to see that version of myself. I want them to be on a good path and make the best decisions; which means I have to do the same.

Now, six months later I can celebrate that I have not given in. It has not been easy, at all. There have been many times when I want to have a drink, to say FUCK IT and just have one drink…but NO. There have also been a few special occasions such as our anniversary where I really wanted to take a drink to relax. We even got my mother in law to watch the kids…but no, not yet. It’s not the right time. For some reason, whenever I drink I get upset now. So, until I feel like everything is right with me and I have a huge accomplishment to celebrate, I might take a drink. Right now is just not the appropriate time for me, personally to be drinking. I need to get my mind right. Just today I walked down the hallway only to realize that my one year had decided to rip off his diaper and ran around the house until he dropped a poop…right on my bed….right next to his sleeping sister. Every day is so crazy with the babies, there is no room for error; and I wouldn’t have it any other way. They are my responsibility and my biggest blessings, I want to make sure that I am always at 100 with them. Right now I am enrolled in Southern New Hampshire University with my program, IDEA-U and I am just so grateful to be where I am right now. I am currently working on my Associates degree but if I continue at the rate I am going, I should have my masters by the time I am thirty years old; I am about to be 28 this year. I am so excited to finally have a clear vision of my path and I am pushing forward with all that I got. I am also working as a Recruitment Intern for IDEA-U so if any of you fellow mommas want to work on your degree from home please let me know and I can get you set up with my director Patti, she’s so great and it is so WORTH IT!! I am not giving up and neither should you…women are powerful and we need to help each other always. YOU GOT THIS LADIES!

Just starting at Southern New Hampshire University

Momma Bear

So I did something crazy and signed up for school on top of the many things I have to juggle at the moment. Since the pandemic began I have felt as if time is just soaring past me leaving me behind in its dust. I have yet been able to accomplish graduating from college because of the many things life has thrown at me and the decisions I made in my past, but I am done letting that get in my way. My younger sister, Stephany, had already told me about how she had enrolled in SNHU through a program with IDEA that had really helped her out, she is now working on finishing her masters! It seemed like the best move to make and I tried to enroll two years ago, but it was not the correct timing. Now, fast forward two years and I have another baby and I have so much fire within me to finally finish what I started. I feel like time just keeps getting faster and the time is now. So I enrolled again, with my husband also enrolled and we began this journey together. What is really cool about this time around is that everything is virtual thanks to our beloved COVID, so it makes it a lot easier for me to finish since I do not have to do my school hours at the actual IDEA building. No time to waste! So far I have turned in three projects, which is what you need to turn in to master that class to get a college credit. Well I failed all three by getting a “not yet” which just means that I have not mastered my course, yet. So now I need to go back and correct the things that the reviewer commented on. I have never been good on receiving constructive criticism and this is something very new to me. I have taken this whole day to kind of reflect and think about how I am going to go about this. I just need to suck it up, go back and fix what I have to fix in order to master the project and move on. If I can turn in a minimum of two projects a week I should be graduating with my associates by this October, and I could not be more ready. Sometimes I feel like quitting, but then I look at my two babies and I’m like nooooope girl you better get back to work! I want to give them everything they need and a mother they can look up to and be proud of. They deserve that and much more. I am very grateful also to have my husband going through this journey with me. He will be graduating with his bachelors and then moving on to his masters and he already mastered his first project! I could not be more proud of him for the man he has become. I am overwhelmed and I doubt myself all the time. Sometimes I do not feel like I am smart enough to finish…but I have to keep pushing forward and keep trying. You only fail when you stop trying.

Texas has no power!

Momma Bear

As you all know, there has been a wild arctic blizzard going on for the past few days. I am not too very well informed about the politics of all of this, but I do know that a lot of people seem to be blaming this on Governor Abbott and ERCOT, they seem to be in charge of Texas’ power supply. Our home thankfully has not been impacted by the power outages, but my mom and mother-in-law have not had light since yesterday morning. This is ridiculous, it was as low as 23 degrees last night! I was so worried about our moms out there in the cold and darkness. Tonight they finally agreed to leave their homes. I tried for hours to find a hotel for my family but literally every single hotel in the Rio Grande Valley is booked! My mom, dad, and little sister came to stay with us and my mother-in-law is staying at her father’s home; so everyone is safe. But seriously, what about the poor people out there that do not have anyone? Or the poor defenseless animals roaming the streets? Ugh, I don’t know l, I just think all of this could have been avoided and the government just honestly could not give two craps about us. I am afraid of what the future holds as I watch my two beautiful children grow up. They have never known life before COVID, well Luna did for a little over a year but then BOOM! Life just changed completely. I can not help but to feel a little mom guilt because I feel like I can not show them cool places or take them on mini adventures. I can not imagine the families that have no light right now and they have small babies like mine! I do not know what this world is coming to but all I can do is raise my babies correctly, teaching them right from wrong and praying that they will be protected and be the light in this dying and dark world.

Domestic Violence is no Joke.

Momma Bear

My husband and I decided to finally round up the kids and take them out for a little cruise after a couple days of being cooped in due to the arctic freeze. In South Texas it does not really get incredibly cold, but this past week has been FREEZING, at least for us. Anyway, we bundled them up and loaded them in the Jeep when I realized that I could hear somebody yelling in the distance. My husband and I looked at each other with curiosity in both of our eyes as we carefully peeked from behind our car. It sounded like a small car crash and then we heard a girl screaming, “Who the FUCK is this?. I could not really understand what the problem was but from what I could see, the girl was not happy about the two guys hanging out together. She had a baby in her hands, probably around the same age as my little boy; one year old and it was really hitting home for me seeing her struggling with that guy and trying to keep her baby safe. He screamed at her to get in the back of the car and she refused, he grabbed her and tried to shove her in but she fought back and said “I am holding the baby you idiot!”, and that’s when I decided I HAD to call the police. I had a very bad feeling and I felt like I had to help protect her and the baby. I heard her scream at him, “Get out, this is MY car!”, and after about seven minutes of this chaos they finally noticed us looking at them. The guy screams at her again to get in the back of the car and this time she agrees. My throat felt tight as I saw her climb into the back of that car with her little baby, but I could not stop her. How could I? He didn’t even give her a chance to close the door of the car when he sped off all violently like an idiot. I was terrified for her and the baby, I was shaking. I reported everything that I saw to the police and prayed that the police could get to her before something terrible happened. My family and I drove around town, did a few errands and headed back to our apartment about an hour and a half later. Our apartment complex was infested with cops when we arrived, my heart sank. My husband got down first to get down some stuff we had bought from the store and I saw one of the cops beginning to approach the Jeep. I quickly hopped out and he asked me if I knew a man named, we will call him Joe. I said no but asked if he was the one that got into a fight with his girlfriend, because I was the one that called it in. He informed me that the guy ended up pushing the girl out of a moving car, she broke her ankle, he took the baby, AND he was under the influence! I could not believe what I was hearing, I felt so bad like maybe I should have stepped in. I don’t know, but I just felt like maybe if I had done something different, the baby would have been ok and the girl would not have a broken ankle. It has been a full day since this incident and I have not heard any updates. I hope and pray that that family is ok and healing from that situation. The reason I am even writing about this is because I want girls out there to know that they are not alone. Domestic violence is real, and it does not always have to be physical to be abuse. Sometimes girls feel afraid to call the police on their significant others because they are afraid that they will get beat, or even killed. It is a truly tough situation to deal with, I have had a few close friends that have had to deal with this terrible situation. In the end, they came out so much stronger than they ever believed they could be and that showed me that there is always hope. There is a light at the end of every tunnel and sometimes you just have to be brave enough to make it all the way to the end. There is always a way out, there is always an answer. Do what is best for YOU, and never apologize for making decisions that are going to better YOUR life or YOUR happiness. Specially if there are children involved, you have to put on your big girl panties and make decisions for your kids, not for you anymore. Children do not get to pick who their father is or who is around their environment, you do, so don’t fuck it up. You only have one life to live and you deserve to be the happiest, best version of yourself you could be. Be the person you wish you had around when you were little and just keep your head up high. You are never, ever alone.

Raisins almost killed my dog!

Momma Bear

Monday morning comes around and as I’m following my still sleepy toddlers into the living room, I realize that there’s a bunch of raisins on the carpet and a large bag not too far away. I really thought nothing of it until our dog, Bunny, began throwing up and having diarrhea everywhere. I am not kidding it was on the walls and everything, super terrible. I rounded up the kids into their playpen, cleaned up the messes, and began googling, “ what happens if my dog eats raisins?”, and my heart stopped. Apparently, raisins and grapes are the worst things for dogs, other than chocolate of course. The internet basically was telling me that my dog was going to die because the raisins cause dogs’ kidneys to begin failing which ultimately leads to organ failure and death. I was freaking out. All the while trying to keep my cool because my two year old, Luna, is super observant and always watching every single little thing I do, and she was so worried already! I called my husband at his work and quickly explained the situation. He ended up rushing home and we made a emergency visit to the veterinarian, thankfully they were able to see her that very same day. Due to COVID we were not allowed inside the veterinarian’s office so they just took her by herself as we watched anxiously. It took them a while to come talk to us but when they finally did they said they had to take some blood samples and hook her up to an IV to replenish all the fluids she had lost and prescribed her three medications. They explained how if we had not brought her in that day, she definitely would not have made it to see another one. We were all so incredibly relieved to know that our Bunny was going to be alright. We ended up spending close to $300 that day for them to save her life…but it was honestly worth it. It was worth seeing my kids’ smiles when we brought her home and told them she was going to be ok. The kids love her so much and they are always hugging and kissing her, I can not imagine a world without Bunny. She really does bring so much joy into our home. I’m not going to lie though, it is tough having a dog with two babies under three years old but it’s all worth it in the end. Right now she is still on antibiotics, and a pasty medicine that’s supposed to help with her stomach lining if there was any damage done. Bunny is peeing regularly but she has not pooped yet which is a little nerve wracking honestly, but all I can do for now is keep a close eye on her. Moral of the story is: DO NOT LEAVE RAISINS OUT, they are TOXIC to dogs. I am so grateful to Valley Animal Hospital for saving our pup!

Alopecia Update: Tips

Momma Bear

Hi guys! I wanted to give you guys a quick update on how my alopecia areota is going. So I have been dealing with this strange and frustrating diagnosis for about six years now and it has been far from easy. In the beginning all of my hair fell out, literally had to cut almost all of my hair off so that it wasn’t so noticeable. Even after I chopped off all my hair it still took months to grow out enough hair to finally be able to rock a cute pixie cut! Some time passed and I was going through so many different kinds of hair products, trying to salvage what little hair I had left and nothing was working. Eventually even my left eyebrow began to fall out and I was just starting to lose all hope again. I was honestly in the darkest head space you could ever imagine. My family was always very supportive and loving, but I just felt absolutely terrible and self-conscious at all times. I did not want to go anywhere or see anybody for a long time… Anyway, eventually I ended up finding an amazing dermatologist that gives me injections in my head every couple months, it’s extremely painful, but it seems to help when I have new spots to fill in with hair. However, a few years ago I came across the shampoo I had been looking for my entire life! It is a holistic shampoo with all natural ingredients, REAL natural ingredients and it changed the game for me! As soon as I started using the shampoo I began to see results within the FIRST TWO WEEKS! Not only was my hair not falling out but it was REGROWING!! I have been using this magical shampoo for almost three years now and I refuse to use another. Ask my husband, I REFUSE. I don’t know if it’s because of my alopecia but I can not use any shampoo because right away my hair starts falling out like crazy and I have new spots within days, it’s terrible. But with this shampoo I only wash my hair once every other day or so and it is magical! The best part is, it comes with TWO bottles. I could not be anymore grateful and don’t worry I will put a link to this shampoo in the bottom of the blog. They also sell a lot of other amazing holistic products that I ended up exploring and using. I love this site so much I just actually partnered with them after sharing my story with them and I am so happy!! I get to help others and share my story, hopefully I can help you guys out there not feel so lonely. You are not alone in this, and things will get better I promise! I have used many of their products such as the Mullein Leaf Extract when my husband got COVID it really helped him clear out his lungs. I also can not live without the Ashgwanda and Holy Basil mix because it helps with my anxiety SO MUCH! I even used their baby probiotics with my baby, Noah when he had bad gas as an infant. Just check them out and see what you guys like, I promise everything is worth it! They also have a hair regrowth serum that I used on my eyebrow as well as coconut oil and now my eyebrow is flawless! I have another round of shots coming up this Friday so please wish me luck guys I always get so nervous the days leading up to the injections! Anyway, I hope you guys have a lovely evening and let me know if you have any tips or just want to vent about anything. I love you! Here is the link ❤️

https://www.holisticthingz.com/wearepoobears

How to make delicious Spanish Rice!

Momma Bear

Growing up Hispanic, in the south of Texas meant that there was always amazing Mexican food on every corner. My absolute favorite thing when I was a kid was when one of my moms friends, Señora Newkirk, would make us a huge pot of that red Spanish rice. Oh my GOD! I could eat that entire thing by myself I swear, she just made it so scrumptious. Anyway, I got older and one day I decided to try to make some Spanish rice for my own family now; and I think I accomplished something delicious. Now, my Spanish rice has a long way to go before it reaches Señora Newkirk’s, but here is how I did it!

Ingredients:

1/2 onion (I use the brown one)

1 tomato

2 cloves of garlic

1 can of tomato sauce 8oz

2 tablespoons of avocado oil (or olive oil)

1 cup of white rice long grain

2 cups of water

1 table spoon of knorr

1/2 table spoon of chili powder (or less depending on taste for spice)

A sprinkle of oregano

Tiny shake of cumin

Dash of salt and pepper

Directions:

-First, prep the onion, garlic cloves, and tomato by chopping them up. I personally like chunks of tomato in my rice, but you can chop them as big or small as you’d like. Now, set that aside.

-in a large cup, add the two cups of water and mix into it the 1 tablespoon of Knorr, 1/2 tablespoon of chili powder, a sprinkle of oregano, and a teeny shake of cumin, mix well and set aside.

-In a large/medium sauce pan add the two tablespoons of oil and turn it up to a medium high. Once the oil is hot enough, add the 1 cup of rice . How I can tell when the oil is hot enough, I will drop a grain of rice into the pan. If the grain of rice wiggles around and bubbles; it’s ready. Now, I like to use a wooden spoon or spatula (true Mexican) and just continuously mix around the rice letting it cook in the oil. -Once the rice starts turning a golden brown color lower the heat on stove a little and add in the chopped garlic cloves and the onion. Mix the rice around letting it cook a bit more with the onion and garlic, the. Add in the tomato. Mix for a few more seconds, never letting the rice burn.

-turn off heat and add in the 1 can of tomato sauce, continuously mix it around in the tomato sauce, letting the rice cook.

-After a couple minutes of really letting the rice soak up the tomato sauce (that’s what will give it the nice red/orange color), add in the water mixture you created. (The two cups of water with the powders)

-turn up the heat back to a medium high , add in a little salt and pepper and just gently mix the rice around in the water until it comes to a boil. Make sure there is a good amount of bubbles.

-once the rice boiled for a couple minutes and you mixed it up real good, turn heat down to a low simmer and put a lid on the pan. Let it sit for a good 20-22 min.

-turn off heat completely and let it sit for another 10-12 minutes. DO NOT TAKE OFF THE LID. Not even for a second, it will ruin the rice.

– remove lid and stir it up, let it cool for a few minutes and enjoy!!

So there it is! I hope I helped as much as I could, feel free to comment any extra add one you think are worth trying! I love trying new food. ❤️

You Are…

Momma Bear

You are everywhere. You are the reason behind…everything I do really. I do not even think that you have, or will ever have any idea how much you motivate me every single day. You may not be aware of it but every single day, every choice I make, every work out I do, every extra mile I go; you are behind it all. I just want to make you so proud. You have made me so incredibly proud and I just know that you are going to do amazing things in your life. I close my eyes and I imagine you off on some spectacular adventure, living your dreams, & being surrounded by nothing but love and happiness; that’s what I want for you. For many years many have tried to get me to understand their reasonings. For so long many have begged me to change my ways or to live my life a certain way and I have never once found a reason to change a thing about myself. I was content living my life the way I was, always putting myself first, and never caring about anybody else at all. But then, you came along… with that captivating smile and those deep dark eyes that I can not help but to get lost in them. You have always mesmerized me. Your laugh is music to my ears and I will continue to push myself to live my best life and staying on the right track. I would do anything as long as it ensures that you bless me with your smiles and your vibrant personality. I would do anything for you. You have impacted me more than anything or anyone I have ever come across. You are amazing…Your life is a gift to this earth and I just hope you know how much you mean to me…you are the best thing that ever happened to me and I will continue to push through and fight every single day for you. I just want you to be proud of me…you are, and always will be absolutely everything to me.

Two months sober…& counting..

Momma Bear

This is me checking in, just filling you in on something personal. Two months ago I found myself in a situation where I had been in many times unfortunately. Hungover and regretting my decisions or the things I said the night before, I decided it was time to change, seriously. Being a new mom is a wild experience and it has its roller coaster ride of emotions but there is something about my little girl that just pushes me to be better. I don’t know if it’s because she reminds me of a miniature version of myself, before the world messed me up and I realized the cruelties of life, but I just refuse to mess her up. I took it upon myself to stop drinking COMPLETELY for her. If me not drinking means that she will never taste a drop of alcohol until she is 21 or older then I will gladly do it. I refuse to let her go through all of the things I had to go through because I started drinking at an early age. I refuse. Well anyway, I’m not going to sit here and tell you that it has been the easiest of journeys…it seems almost as if life decided to throw all these obstacles at me as soon as I decided to quit drinking. We decided to move a week before Christmas and I swear it has probably been the most stressful time. I had a panic attack in the process of all this and we had family over during Christmas, in this pandemic, and everything has just been freaking me out to the max. I have always had anxiety and depression since I was a teen but I had always coped with it, I guess, or actually hid behind alcohol and substances. Now that I have decided to try and live a healthier lifestyle, the universe decides it’s got jokes for me…being sober is HARD I’m not going to lie. I am not going to tell you that it gets easier as the days go by , as others would like to say, it doesn’t. Every single day you will be faced with stresses, issues, and people that you just want to run away from… but hang in there, please. I have not relapsed, nor do I intend on it. I have had so many opportunities to do so, or even just moments where I have felt like saying “fuck it , I deserve a drink!” , but NO. I refuse to go back, I have come such a long way and my baby girl is so proud of me. I am so proud of me. Every day is a decision made, and I am in control. Mental illness is real, don’t ever let anyone make you feel broken…